Monday, September 21, 20094:53 AM
i can still remembered clearly.
my very first frisbee league is during my first year of training.
i wouldn't care about how people think about me.
i'm just a player who keep standing down there without doing anything.
basically is because no matter how i run, i will always run wrongly.
best part is even though i get the disc, i will still throw it away.
who will want this kind of player?
nyp ultimates used to be the hot picks during the league.
so we were all pair up with the seniors, its called the buddy system which we had it every year.
so when people choose that person, his buddy will be selected too.
its like buy 1 get 1 free theory.
and my buddy was Bevan. =)
from what i remembered,
he was the only person there guiding me thru out my league.
i don't understand why he didn't wanna give up on me.
i kept trying, but i just couldn't get it.
lots of experienced player around me tell me whats wrong with my cut and etc
and some don't even want to tell me whats wrong, they would just shake their head.
i started to feel useless and helpless.
there's this other league game,
i still remember this point where i'm assigned to defend this guy.
i did nothing, all i did was trying my best to catch up where he's running to.
so they had a turn over and i was assigned to be the handler.
and i didn't receive a disc at all and we won that point.
my captain came and tell me that i did a good job!
i think back about that point but i almost did nothing during that point.
so i was curious, i went to ask the captain what he praised me for.
and he said, because u didn't let that guy whom u're marking to receive any disc.
i was like, you cannot praise me just because i didn't let the person whom i'm marking receive any disc what.
because i thought i really did something good.
and even when u're the handler,
the rest of the handler can simply swing around and score without me touching any disc.
all the things I've done,
i didn't expect anyone to know my presence around.
i was having a happy-go-lucky mood.
people say what i do what, people do what i also do what.
couldn't bother much also.
until my buddy said something unexpectedly infront of my team.
because my buddy is a person who can tell you alot of things about what u do wrong, what u do right etc etc.
so he start praising me infront of everyone.
although i know its just to make me feel motivated and encouraged,
but the expression from his face when he's telling the team can really make me shed tears.
there's actually someone who believes in me.
to be frank, he's the 1 who make me believe in myself too.
so i started to workharder though its too late.
i didn't get into team during my first ivp.
i was wondering...
if my buddy didn't encourage me that time,
i won't have a little standard like this today.
and with this little standard i had now,
people would start to know about me.
and so after awhile, you will slowly become the experienced player.
even if u're a experienced player, there's still alot of us to learn.
and slowly i got into the team in my 2nd ivp.
but i was injured and my performance are still not up there yet, my play time wasn't very good.
i carry this injury with me till now.
so i started to play smart by not running much.
this makes me a better player because i have a better decision making and throws.
as time goes by, my injury got slightly better.
but my play time for the upcoming tourney are still not very good.
finally, captain for the team in my last ivp.
happy? of course, we won my last ivp!
but where did all my play time went to?
whats wrong with me?
where are all the believes?
or i should say,
i shouldn't have believe myself in the first place.
passions gone.
believes gone.
feelings gone.
i don't want to walk alone anymore.
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