Chapt 77,

It’s been super super super x99 busy weeks for me.
Got to complete assembling my robot for 2 weeks but I took more than 2 weeks.
Now is 3rd week and I’ve just completed the legs. Will upload the pics soon.
My supervisor told me about my attitude towards F.Y.P.
For some personal reason, he knows my morale is super low.
I’ve been always late for project,
No motivation at all.
Lecturers report to him that they dun see me in the lab all the while.
It’s kind of stupid that when they dun see me, they thought I’m not in the lab.

I’ve read a book about confidence, its call "confidence booster workout".
What about this book?
Okay first of all, what is confidence?
Being confident means feeling positive about what u can do, and not worrying about what you can't do, but having the will to learn. Self-confidence is the oil that smoothly turns the wheels of the relationship between you, you capability - that is, your natural talents, skills and potential - and your ability to make good that capability.

This goes out to all of you, be it Frisbee people, working mates etc.
Where ever we go, we have to carry it out.

"Less confident people are afraid of being hurt and having their confidence damaged even more."

Let me continue to "The confidence SPECTRUM"
People vary in their self-view and outward manner, ranging from arrogance, at one end of the spectrum, through the well-balanced state of confidence, to low self-esteem at the outer extreme. In addition, there are a couple of intermediate states, namely supreme confidence and low self-esteem. You need to know about all of these before you can start to improve your own confidence levels.

1. Arrogance
Arrogant people assume that they will succeed at a give task. They have had success before. It is natural for them to think that success will continue to come their way. Arrogant people are disliked because they believe that they have a divine right to continued success. When a politician or business magnate falls from grace, it can very often cause great delight in others because their assumption of continued power has been shattered. The assumption is in face a belief that what was before will always be.

Supreme confidence + assumption = Arrogance

2. Supreme confidence
Supremely confident people have no doubts that they will succeed. They focus on their strength and have a keen sense of what they want, but allied to this is a powerful will - a hunger and desire to succeed 'come what may'. Each success that they attract confirms their self-worth. Their hunger and desire prevents them from becoming assumptive about success. These are the people who set the trends and break the records for others to follow. The supremely confident person believes with every cell of their being that they will succeed, but if for some reason they don't, it rarely diminishes their strong and powerful self-view that they will succeed next time.

There is a very fine line, however, between supreme confidence and arrogance. Sometimes when a person becomes too familiar with success they cross this thin dividing line. Too much success can lead to arrogance, because the person has become so used to success that they take it for granted that success will continue to occur.

The test for the supremely confident person is: can they keep renewing their relationship with success and remaining hungry for success? It is the absence of familiarity with success that keeps the supremely confident person on the right side of the line.

Confidence + belief = supreme confidence

3. Confidence
Confident people prepare to attract the outcome they seek. They focus on the strengths that they will bring to any given situation. They have had success before, and draw on those previous successes to inform them that they can attract success again. Their well of success is deep and their line of trust between themselves and their capability is strong.

Natural capability + trust = confidence

4. Self-doubt
Self-doubters tend to focus on all the things that will or could go wrong. They worry about the potential negative outcomes, because past evidence suggests that they will have a negative outcome. They focus on their own doubts rather than their own strengths. Their self-doubts are stronger than their ability to focus on their strengths, because of the impact that ‘failure’ has had on them before. They feel the pain of previous failure and are worried of having more ‘failure’ to experience. They know that they have the ability to take on the situation they face, but nevertheless these doubts hold sway. The line of trust between themselves and their capability has been disconnected.

Capability – Trust = Self-doubt

5. Low self-esteem
Self-esteem means the value that a person places upon who they are and what they do. People with low-esteem feel that it is not worth even trying to succeed, because they will fail anyway. Their opinion of themselves is low because they have resigned themselves to playing role of the losers or the victim. They believe that, in life, others win and succeed, but they don’t. they become trapped in this cycle.

Where there is low self-esteem, confidence needs careful rebuilding. This can be achieved through the person sampling small, achievable successes, so that they begin to have a relationship with success and thus with the self-confidence that says ‘I can succeed’.

Natural capability – trust – self-worth = low self-esteem

So which group do you belong to?

“Arrogance is at the top end of the confidence spectrum.”

Our natural confidence is always affected by negative influences. What do I meant by natural confidence? We are all born with a degree of natural confidence. This gives us the ability to do without even thinking all those things that we might now think of as automatic – breathing, smiling, sleeping, seeing, hearing, walking, talking, laughing and crying. It is only when we fear we might lose on of these ‘innate’ abilities that we realize how much they mean to us in our everyday living.

The negative influences include,
1.) Blame and criticism
2.) Conformity
3.) Exclusion
4.) Competition
5.) Disappointment
6.) Perfectionism
7.) Dominance

The top 5 symptoms of blame and criticism:
1. You think that everything is your fault.
2. You become highly sensitive to criticism.
3. You expect to be told off whatever you do.
4. You blame yourself when things don’t work out.
5. You dare not take risks in case you fail.

The top 5 symptoms of conformity:
1. You put off making decisions in case you are wrong.
2. You are timid and don’t accept opportunities when they arise.
3. You judge yourself (I’m stupid!’).
4. You try too hard to please others.
5. You make decisions because you think you should, rather than because you want to.

The top 5 symptoms of exclusion:
1. You constantly ‘suck up’ to the decision-maker, so that you can be included.
2. Your confidence state is one of uncertainty, because you don’t know where you stand with others.
3. You constantly experience the feeling that you are not good enough
4. You feel resentment and jealousy that others get the opportunities and you don’t
5. You make unfortunate comparisons with those that are included.

The top 5 symptoms of competition:
1. You compare yourself with others.
2. You start to doubt you own ability.
3. You put yourself under stress and pressure to succeed, when you already trying as hard as you can.
4. You find yourself wanting to impress and get approval and confirmation from others.
5. In extreme examples, you may even use stealing, deception, lying and cheating to get what you want, because they way you usually do things does not achieve the desired result.

The top 5 symptoms of disappointment:
1. You expect things to go wrong, so you don’t even bother trying.
2. You feel that you are not good enough for something good to happen to you.
3. You grow to fear hope, in case of being let down.
4. You mistrust when things go well, feeling that something is bound to go wrong.
5. You don’t commit to relationship, for fear of being let down.


The top 5 symptoms of perfectionism:
1. You think that failure is unacceptable.
2. You won’t let others see your mistakes.
3. You anticipate and fear disapproval.
4. You have a constant need for reassurance.
5. You criticize yourself for not being perfect.

The top 5 symptoms of dominance:
1. You take on the role of ‘the victim’ and accept the blame for everything that goes wrong.
2. You give too much of yourself to others, because you think that is what they expect of you.
3. You let others walk all over you at great emotional cost to yourself.
4. You find it difficult to say no.
5. You find it difficult to value yourself, while attributing great importance to other people’s opinions of you.

Mistakes + blame = low confidence

Good work + encouragement = self-confidence

Opportunity – trust = remorse

Promise + disappointment = mistrust

“Don’t allow others to walk all over you – build your mental muscle and resist them.”

One more thing to touch on about confident,
The Five major causes of FEAR OF FAILURE!

These are the most common reasons for people developing a strong fear of failure, and they are covered in turn on the following pages.

“You need to take risks to discover your potential.”

The common causes:
1. Over-protective parents
2. Fear of the unknown
3. High expectancy
4. Egotism
5. Previous failures

1. Over-protective parents
Parents who are over-protective impose strong boundaries that limit that what you can and can’t do. These boundaries are for the purposes of your safety, but serve to limit your ability to take risks and discover your own potential.

The over-protective parents genuinely want to help, because they can’t bear to see you get hurt. They want the best for you and will do anything for you, so much so that you come to rely on them, and when the going gets tough you know that they will bail you out. A good example of this occurs when young people are travelling the world; when they run out of money, they simply call their parents to ask for money to be sent to the city where they are stranded, rather than working out a solution that will resolve the problem in which they find themselves.

All of this leads the individual to the stage where they do not want to get into any situation that involves an element of risk, because they automatically wait for their parents to support them before they do anything. This then has a negative impact on their self-confidence, because they are unused to handling challenges and thus back down when things do get difficult.

2. Fear of the unknown
Frequently, fear of failure is induced by fear of the unknown. Perhaps we are attempting to do something that we have never done before, and therefore we cannot be sure what the outcome of our efforts is going to be. So we stick with the safety and security of what we know which means that no risks need to be taken and there is no chance of failure. This might mean that we ignore our instincts, which might be telling us to take a particular course of action.

For example, someone might have a great idea for a new business, but is put off initiating the idea because no one else has tried it, so therefore they think there must be something flawed in the idea. The reality is that they might very well have been the first person to have had the idea, but they don’t trust themselves enough to take it further.

A person’s instincts are designed to provide them with information that will be useful for their survival and success. A confident person will listen to this quiet inner voice and try to respond to it, whereas a person who is low on confidence will be loath to trust their instincts in case they are wrong.

Instinct – confidence = mistrust

3. High expectancy
The term ‘high expectancy’ means the anticipation or demand of certain, very positive result. This level of expectancy if very often prevalent in the world of business and work, where the demand for result can stifle creativity for the following reasons:

- To meet shareholder demand.
- Because jobs are on the line.
- Because you paid to get results.

The pressure is on for you to perform, and you dare not fail. So you remain in the comfort zone of what you know will work in order to prevent any chance of failure. This means that you may have to stifle your instinctive urges, which may be telling you to pursue and idea that has the potential to be very success, but you dare not in case you are somehow wrong.

4. Egotism
Sometimes people with big egos, who think that they are above average, have a strong fear of failure. The greater the personal ego, the greater the sense of loss can be should the unthinkable happen. This is a loss of status in the eyes of others, who will suddenly perceive that the egotistical person is not as powerful as they previously thought. Therefore egotists often make excuses for not doing something, so that they don’t have to fail and lose face.

5. Previous failures
If we have tried and failed before and been heavily criticized for it, this criticism and feeling of hurt can have a detrimental effect upon our subsequent attempts. We simply don’t want to experience the pain again, so we don’t try. Any thoughts of trying something new or experimenting with an idea are immediately linked to the pain of previous failed attempts.

“You can’t have success without the possibility of failures.”


怎么了? 你累了? 说好的幸福呢?
我懂了, 不说了, 爱淡了, 梦远了.
我错了, 泪干了, 放手了, 后悔了.
Lemonsick @9:55 AM