i always have this thoughts in my mind.
"i don't know why i suddenly miss him so much."
maybe i found an answer to it.
there's no "i don't know why."
it is a straight forward answer to my doubt.
i love you dad.

come to think of it.
i really wanna be like bolin and joe.
stop thinking of what happened in the past and carry on the life.
i know everyone around me is giving me support, asking me to move on.
i seriously need times.
this is not any BGR thingy,
how can i easily let go of this 22 years memories.
i'm on the urge of giving up on things that is giving me lots of pressure.
i really can't take anymore damage.

i know you're reading this ben.
i sincerely apologize for what i've done during last Saturday.
"what happened on the field, we let it be on the field."
since i've chosen to let it go, i guess that will still be my final decision.
i'm sorry.
Lemonsick @11:22 PM