i'm so proud to be the captain of the champions.
NYP, the IVP 2009 champion once again.
and finally, end of poly competition.
and maybe, end of career haha.

so many players improved so fast and took over my play time.
i'm so proud of them, seriously.
i'd rather stay cheered up and motivate my teams rather then sitting down there thinking of unnecessary stuffs.
that's something i should do.

so many people are fighting on.
no one give up in the end.

bryan, adam and me were cheering on the other side of the field.
guiding our teammates all day long.
until during finals.
they both said something randomly that kinda touch me.
you guys might not think you have said something,
but it boost a little extra motivation in me that want me to play extra harder for the team.
i self motivated by keep repeating myself that i am a secret weapon therefore i am not inside now.
"wo shi secret weapon..."

the last few points coach ask me to go in.
i guess i did what he expect me to do.
it's only a matter of play time.
its like, although its only that 2 points, but people were talking about it.
"even if you had a lot of play time but didnt do much, it doesnt mean as much as lesser play time but effective play right?"

so true.

well like what keeks have said about the secret weapon,
"proven."

okay enough of self praise.
but this remind me of the "crouching tiger, hidden dragon." i mentioned.

in everything we do, there must be motivation.
but motivations, where have u gone to?
Lemonsick @11:31 PM
you've waken the whole NYP ultimate.
this coming sat,
let's show them what we got guys.
Lemonsick @1:08 AM
recently my life was full of frisbee.
had NYP frisbee training/bonding camp.
i don't know, it could be my mood still swinging around that caused me pressurize.
i didn't really enjoy myself at the camp.
i'm so screwed up during the scrimmage against Shiok.
totally not myself anymore.

on the sat, we had scrimmage against shiok again.
but this time round we're playing as DK(Disc Knight).
maybe the pressure i gave myself is too much,
i got the urge to give up anytime.
and scolded back at Ben plus some childish action.

on the next sat, 14th march
ronnie talked to me on thurs, he made me felt sorry, immatured and selfish but positive at the same time.
the fire starts to burn in me once again after hearing what ronnie said.
i went to apologize to Ben and DK.
but before that, we had scrimmage against DK.

NYP 13 - DK 15
the game was totally great.
i think i can become a good mid with Dorries! hahaha!
yup we've lost, but some points we concede are quite unneccessary.
yeah we could've done better than that, i guess.

sun,
league final.
we enter quarter final and we won.
semi-final were a wake up call for my team.
we were down by 4-0 at the beginning.
but then after some disccussion and change of gameplay,
we were fighting back and with great sidelines and intensities,
we successfully fight back and won the semi-final.
12-10 or something like this.

final,
we were giving out 120% and i swear,
this was the first time i've played frisbee with everything.
i'm somehow proud of myself as a handler.
too bad Ben wasn't there to see me play!
eventually, we still lost at final la.
we were down by 2 or 3 points.
i can see some of my players crack and can't play their A game.
yet, i was very calm and still controlling the game,
but not enough i guess.
well, now i can put all my focus on NYP!

i used to worry about whether i can enter the team.
but now, i'm more like worrying about performing.
gotta work harder to enter the team and perform!

IVP is only 4 days away.
Lemonsick @1:24 AM
i always have this thoughts in my mind.
"i don't know why i suddenly miss him so much."
maybe i found an answer to it.
there's no "i don't know why."
it is a straight forward answer to my doubt.
i love you dad.

come to think of it.
i really wanna be like bolin and joe.
stop thinking of what happened in the past and carry on the life.
i know everyone around me is giving me support, asking me to move on.
i seriously need times.
this is not any BGR thingy,
how can i easily let go of this 22 years memories.
i'm on the urge of giving up on things that is giving me lots of pressure.
i really can't take anymore damage.

i know you're reading this ben.
i sincerely apologize for what i've done during last Saturday.
"what happened on the field, we let it be on the field."
since i've chosen to let it go, i guess that will still be my final decision.
i'm sorry.
Lemonsick @11:22 PM